10 Ways to Know it is Time to Quit

After Sunday's message, I thought I would share some more insight into whether or not it's time for you to quit. Take a few minutes to see how many of the following ten statements apply to you.

1. You need the approval of others to feel good about yourself.
2. You are angry, sad, or disappointed and feel guilty about it.
3. You believe you don’t have choices.
4. You do for others what they can and should do for themselves.
5. Your rarely consider your own hopes and dreams because of your focus on others.
6. You say “yes’ when you would rather say “no”.
7. You have difficulty speaking up when you disagree or prefer something different.
8. You’re becoming a less instead of a more loving person.
9. You are resentful and tired because you regularly “try to do it all.”
10. You are afraid to admit your weaknesses and flaws.

If two or three apply to you, you may need to start quitting. If four to six apply, you have a lot to quit; if you scored seven or above, your true self in Christ may be “buried alive."

This list comes from Peter And Geri Scazzero, authors of "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality".

More on Brokenness

Last Sunday I spoke about boasting in our brokenness. Here are some more thoughts. Some of these are excerpts from an article written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called, "Choosing Brokenness".

Brokenness is not a feeling; it is a choice, an act of the will. Brokenness is a lifestyle of agreeing with God about the true condition of my heart and life, as He sees it. It is a lifestyle of unconditional, absolute surrender of my will to the will of God--a heart attitude that says, 'Yes, Lord!' to whatever God says.

Brokenness means the shattering of my self-will, so that the life and Spirit of the Lord Jesus may be released through me. Brokenness is my response of humility and obedience to the conviction of the Word and the Spirit of God. And as the conviction is continuous, so must the brokenness be continuous.

Which are you?

Proud people focus on the failures of others; they have a critical, fault-finding spirit. Broken people are overwhelmed with a sense of their own spiritual need. Therefore, they can esteem all others better than themselves.

Proud people have to prove that they are right; but broken people are willing to yield the right to be right.

Proud people want to be served and to be a success. But broken people desire to serve others and to make them a success.

Proud people have a drive to be recognized and appreciated. Broken people are thrilled that God would use them at all; they rejoice when others are lifted up.

Proud people are quick to take offense; but broken people are quick to forgive and overlook offenses.

Proud people wait for others to come and ask forgiveness. Broken people take the initiative to be reconciled when there is a conflict; they race to the cross and see who can get there first, no matter how wrong the other may have been.

Proud people compare themselves to others, but broken people compare themselves to the holiness of God.

God's Word teaches that brokenness brings blessedness. Jesus said, 'Blessed are the poor in spirit'--i.e., the 'broken ones,' those who recognize that they are spiritually bankrupt and poverty-stricken. Psalms 34:18 says, "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit".

And one of my personal favorites is Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise".

Amazingly, and by His grace, God has called broken Pastors to lead broken people.

New Study on Families and Technology

A new study from the Barna Group was released on the influence of technology in families. Here is a summary list of the 5 findings:

1. Parents are just as dependent on technology as are teens and tweens. Parents are more likely than their tween and teen offspring to report regular use of cell phones and desktop computers. They are just likely as their teens and tweens to use laptop computers and tablet-like devices. Parents watch just as much television and movies, use the Internet for as many minutes per day, and spend more time on the telephone and emailing than do their tween- and teen-aged children.

2. Most family members, even parents, feel that technology has been a positive influence on their families. The conclusion is that most families welcome technology and media with open arms, rather than with suspicion. One of the reasons for this may be that many families use technology, including television, movies and video games, as a shared experience.

3. Very few adults or youth take substantial breaks from technology. Americans’ dependence on—what some might call addiction to—digital technology is apparent in the study’s findings. The question arises whether families are in control of their technology or being controlled by it.

4. Families experience conflict about technology, but not in predictable ways. Technology seems to amplify the relational patterns and problems already in place: families that have healthy and frequent conversations find technology aiding that process, while families without such healthy interactions find that technology exacerbates the isolation of its members.

5. Few families have experienced—or expect—churches to address technology. Most families are not getting any coaching or assistance when it comes to integrating technology into their family life. The implication is that faith communities could take a leadership role in teaching about the proper use of technology in healthy families.

As Real As It Gets

We've been talking about what it means to "Get Real" at Bellwood. Webster's defines real as: not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory : genuine such as "real gold". Jewelers say that there is a way to test and see if gold is real or not. This is done by putting a small scratch on the item in an inconspicuous place using a nail file. Place a drop of nitric acid on the scratch. If the area experiences no reaction, the item is made from real gold. If the area turns green, the item is not real gold. There is such a thing as "fool's gold" which of course, under this kind of test, would prove to be fraudulent.

I'm convinced that many of us try to portray the image of being a Christ follower (real gold) but in reality we are simply fools. This is what Jesus is saying in Luke 14:29 (NIV) "For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him." If we claim to be a follower of His, we need to recognize there is a price to pay; unlike this man who was a fool.

Jesus already laid the foundation that we are to build on. Part of that foundation was His "being real". He was never artificial or fake. He was filled with joy (Luke 10:21), He shed tears (Luke 19:41), He grieved (Mark 14:34), He was angry (Mark 3:5), He felt compassion (Luke 7:13), He felt distress (Luke 12:50). Jesus was as real as it gets. We can celebrate our humanity and build on His foundation.

1 Corinthians 3:11-13 (NLT) says, "For no one can lay any other foundation than the one we already have—Jesus Christ. Now anyone who builds on that foundation may use gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But there is going to come a time of testing at the judgment day to see what kind of work each builder has done. Everyone's work will be put through the fire to see whether or not it keeps its value".

Some of us are using materials that will not be able to withstand the fire, but "real gold" is purified in the fire. God will allow us to be tested in order to refine our character. Hopefully, we won't be found to be fraudulent.

I know it can be scary to get real with God, others and yourself, but I would rather take the risk of looking like a fool to others, than to actually be called a fool by God for being a fake and not counting the cost.

Get Real

This whole month of May I decided to preach a series before my Sabbatical entitled, "Get Real." This past Sunday I talked about "Image is Everything". It really is. In our culture it's all about looking good and feeling good. We are bombarded with ads for products that will make us cool, hip, or rad. By wearing a certain brand of clothing, we project a certain image.

I remember in high school, the fad was to wear Polo Oxford button-down collar shirts. That was the trend. I wanted to project the "preppy" image because that's what the smart, rich kids wore and I wanted to be like them. But the real me was poor and not very smart. I slacked off in high school and barely maintained a C+ average. I desperately wanted to be cool and fit in. I wanted people to like me (the fake me). I was afraid that if they knew the real me they wouldn't like me. (Before I moved in with foster parents, I lived in a roach-infested mobile home - not cool.)

Why is it that we often forget we are all created in the image of our Maker? (see Genesis 1:26-27). It is so easy to quickly conform to the false image of our surroundings. That is exactly what Israel did right after God miraculously released them from their Egyptian captivity. For hundreds of years, the only image they had of themselves was worthless slaves, but God revealed to them that they were his chosen, beloved people - HOWEVER - because it's hard to break the culture's hold, they quickly forget whose image they were made in.

Psalm 106:19-21 says, "At Horeb they made a calf and worshiped an idol cast from metal. They exchanged their Glory for an image of a bull, which eats grass. They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt."

How often do we do the same thing today? God has given us His image of glory but we exchange it for that blue Polo oxford shirt? My response? GET REAL!

Recognize your identity is NOT in what you wear. We are not what we do, not what we have, and not what other people think about us. We have been created in the very image of God and with the help of His Spirit, we can project that image to others.