Since my sabbatical, I think I've gotten better at not being such a control freak. I have been diligently trying to trust God and allow Him to lead, provide, direct, guide...all of that stuff. But I still haven't mastered it - and I'm not alone. Here is an excerpt I read this morning from the Daily Office (quoted from Richard Rohr):
"Believe it or not, we are threatened by such a free God because it takes away all of our ability to control or engineer the process. It leaves us powerless, and changes the language from any language of performance or achievement to that of surrender, trust and vulnerability...that is the so-called "wildness" of God. We cannot control God by any means whatsoever, not even by our good behavior, which tends to be our natural instinct...That utter and absolute freedom of God is fortunately used totally in our favor, even though we are still afraid of it...It is called providence, forgiveness, free election or mercy...But to us, it feels like wildness - precisely because we cannot control it, manipulate it, direct it, earn it or lose it. Anyone into controlling God by his or her actions will feel very useless, impotent and ineffective."
We have to believe that by surrendering and trusting God, it is totally in our favor. God desires good things for us. He can be trusted. He has proven Himself to be faithful. Lord, forgive us for times we doubt and want to take control of the reins again.
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